For months I’ve been contemplating a post on social and relationship capital and how it’s built and then how it’s spent. And after a trip to Memphis earlier this week, to see my mom’s aunt (my great aunt) honored at a ceremony where she donated her honors and awards to the University of Memphis it all became so clear to me.

Elma Neal Roane has dedicated her entire life to education and her students, I’m planning to profile her here soon so I won’t go through all of her accomplishments. She is recognized as a pioneer and leader in physical education and sports in the state of Tennessee.  She was head of the Women’s Division for sports at the University of Memphis from 1946-1976. The fieldhouse at the University known as “the house that she built” is named for her and I’m told it’s the only fieldhouse in the country named for a woman.

On Tuesday, there was a reception at Brister Hall, and it was  the formal unveiling of her awards, honors and papers both academic and athletic. There were over 100 people who came to see my 91 year old aunt, not the honors and awards. Everyone who came had a very personal story of how she had touched their lives.  I was in awe to hear the stories from young and old, all of them spoke of the impact she has made on their life.  A life of building relationships, participating in the community, giving back, not just with her money but her time as well. I have to tell you, in my mind, she is the embodiment of what Chris Brogan calls a Trust Agent, person after person stood up and talked about her integrity, the goodness that she worked so tirelessly bring to all of those who knew her and many who never knew her but experienced the fruits of her labor.  At one point during the day, she turned to me and said “Everyone keeps talking about all I’ve done for women, but I worked for the men and human rights as well. I stood up for anyone who needed to be stood up for as long as I believed it was the right thing to do.”

As things were winding down, I had the privilege of sitting alone with my aunt and just chatting. At 91 years old, she’s still a leader and still wanting to mentor and educate the best she can. And while she was thankful for the honor on Tuesday, I’m confident that what she enjoyed the most was talking to the people. She was genuinely moved that so many people gave up part of their day to come and see her. While we were sitting there I said to her, “I’m in awe of all the goodness you have created how did you do it?”  She responded:

“Everything I did, I did because I had a passion for it, not just the education but the students as well. I’ve dedicated my life to promoting fellowship, honor and integrity, and we need more teachers who are pushing that as well. That’s my passion, keep on keeping on!” (her personal mantra)

What I’ve learned from a lifetime of knowing my aunt, is that social and relationship capital is acquired through service, fellowship, and a deep passion for people. And it’s how we build and spend that capital that defines you, I watched on Tuesday as many accomplished people, some celebrities, got up and thanked my aunt for her service, and more than one said she was their hero. They were powerful moments, but she accomplished all she did because she loved her work and wanted to make the world a better place. She never gave any thought to what was in it for her, she fought hard for what was right in her mind, and with honor and integrity, she made sacrifices, had discouraging times but she always stayed the course. She used her capital to build leaders, pave the way for the future and for improving human rights.

My question to you is: what are you doing with the social and relationship capital you are building? Are you leaving a legacy of goodness? Are you working for what really matters most?

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Today, in honor of International Women’s Day, I thought who better to highlight than one of the bravest women I know who has made a tremendous impact on me. Her courage, and entrepreneurial spirit is a testimony that all things are possible if you believe, work hard and never ever give up on your dream.

Mukhtaran Mai – I’ve mentioned Mukhtar Mai before, her story of triumph and determination always moves me. Her brother was falsely accused of fornication. She went to court to argue on his behalf and was sentenced to the most severe form of humiliation in her culture. In the eyes of  her family and village her destiny was suicide. However and most importantly not in her eyes, she stood up to her attackers and demanded prosecution. The Pakistani government gave her $8300 compensation and she used that along with money from other donors to build a primary school for girls. The story doesn’t end there, she’s also built a high school for girls, runs a school for boys, she bought a van for the schools that is also the village ambulance and she has a herd of dairy cows that generate an income and help her maintain the schools. And in March of 2009….she married. I’m really in awe of this woman as when she set out to start the primary school she was unable to read and write and enrolled herself. While I think  Mukhtaran Mai”s story is tragic, it’s my hope that in the years to come that she is known for her leadership, entrepreneurship, courage, and the sheer goodness she has brought to Meerwala.

Mukhtar Mai’s story has had a profound impact on me personally in ways that I still struggle to put into words. I am currently working on a plan to put action behind the impact and to thank Mukhtar Mai….stay tuned as I will share that here.

So now it is your turn….is there a woman in your life who has had an unexpected profound impact? What’s the cause and effect of that impact? I’d love to hear your story and hers!

photo credit: Ronda Churchill

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At first glance, Lake Nakuru National Park in Kenya is a peaceful beautiful safari park. It’s best known for the thousands and sometimes millions of flamingos that make their home along the shore.  Recently, the park was enlarged so it could provide sanctuary for more than 25 black rhinos. Overlooking Lake Nakuru is a picnic area called Baboon Cliff. Aptly named because of the troops of baboons that live here.

During my visit to Lake Nakuru I had lunch at Baboon Cliff, prior to entering the picnic area my team was briefed to be “on guard” because the baboons could be very bold. (could be is an understatement) However, there was no amount of briefing that could have prepared us for what was about to happen.  It had been quite a morning seeing rhinos, hippos, vultures, lots of zebras and even hyenas up close and sometimes personal.  As we settled into the picnic area, within seconds, we were surrounded by about 25-30 baboons. Our guides had large sticks and were doing all they could to keep the baboons at bay. And that job quickly became increasingly more difficult.

Baboons are really crafty characters and work  together to distract tourists so the larger more aggressive ones can easily take whatever it is that they want. They gather together almost like a huddle, make disturbing sounds, as if they were formulating a plan. Then one or two come in close and do some kind of trick, or something entertaining while the aggressors watch carefully waiting for just the right time to make their move.  And it’s all fun and games until you are face to face with one of these scary characters.

From the minute we arrived the baboons were on their “A” game and some of their attempts to take our lunch were….well entertaining. There was lots of laughter and well admittedly some anxiety. Taking note of my anxiety one of the men on our team invited me to sit on a bench with him, promising to fend off any baboons that got close.  As we opened our box lunch and started to go through it, a huddle of baboons formed just about 25 yards away.  We had our eye on that huddle and then they dispersed. We all breathed a sigh of relief. After a couple of minutes, a baby baboon made its way over and began doing tricks, making sounds and before we knew it all of us were paying close attention to the baby. Then out of nowhere, the biggest baboon I’d ever seen was on top of Mike, wrestling him for his food and mine. In a matter of seconds, Mike was on his back, with the large creature on top of him. Everyone sprung into action even the other baboons. Needless to say, the big baboon got away with our lunch. And as quickly as he was able to spring into action, he was off and running with the bounty of his efforts. He took it over to where he had huddled up earlier and shared the spoils with the rest of his troop.

So what does this have to do with community and marketing? What’s the lesson here? It’s the power of collaboration and working together to accomplish a goal. It’s so amazing that the troop of baboons knew that unless they worked together, there was no way they would have been able to get a single morsel. It’s the same in our communities and organizations. As organizations find themselves running very lean collaboration is critical to overcome the challenges of today’s competitive landscape. The social web has made it easier than ever before to collaborate and overcome any barriers that previously existed. If the baboons can grasp the power of working together to achieve a common goal, how do we often miss that truth?

I think Margaret Mead said it best and interestingly enough after her time in Africa. “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever does.” While she doesn’t mention it, the collaboration factor is is implied.  Even the animal kingdom recognizes they are more powerful when they work together. Are you harnessing the power of collaboration or do you think you can do it on your own?

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Social media is a powerful communications channel it’s opens doors, starts dialogs, creates relationships and often inspires, motivates….and much much more.  It’s the much much more that I’m writing about today.  I’m a little concerned that people are forgetting that authenticity paired with social media is not a license to be divisive, or tear someone down. The fact is rude snarky remarks can hurt and as Chris Brogan said it earlier today “there are people on the other side of the glass with emotions.”

In a sense. all of us are authors and everyday we write another chapter or two in the story of our life. That story is what others will remember about us long after we are face to face with them. Snarky comments are often remembered by the person on the receiving end even if they are thrown out in fun. Our social networking accounts are just as much a reflection of our personal brand as our resumes, the stories we tell and the work we do.

I’m not suggesting that we will never have disagreements, that we turn a blind eye to problems or that we not stand up for the people, products, or issues we feel passionate about. I am suggesting that we take a minute and consider how we are communicating.  Consider the fact that contentious communications don’t build community they tear it down and destroy trust.  I’ve written frequently that for community to succeed there has to be a tie that binds. Collaboration may be the secret ingredient…there’s power in numbers.

I’m reminded of a quote from best selling author and speaker Barry Neil Kaufman: “a loud voice cannot compete with a clear voice…even if it’s a whisper.”

How would your community describe your voice?  Are you dividing or conquering?

Technorati Tags: Authentic, Authenticity, Chris Brogan, Determination, friend, Honest, Project Authenticity, Transparent, Trustworthy, Whisper