For months I’ve been contemplating a post on social and relationship capital and how it’s built and then how it’s spent. And after a trip to Memphis earlier this week, to see my mom’s aunt (my great aunt) honored at a ceremony where she donated her honors and awards to the University of Memphis it all became so clear to me.

Elma Neal Roane has dedicated her entire life to education and her students, I’m planning to profile her here soon so I won’t go through all of her accomplishments. She is recognized as a pioneer and leader in physical education and sports in the state of Tennessee.  She was head of the Women’s Division for sports at the University of Memphis from 1946-1976. The fieldhouse at the University known as “the house that she built” is named for her and I’m told it’s the only fieldhouse in the country named for a woman.

On Tuesday, there was a reception at Brister Hall, and it was  the formal unveiling of her awards, honors and papers both academic and athletic. There were over 100 people who came to see my 91 year old aunt, not the honors and awards. Everyone who came had a very personal story of how she had touched their lives.  I was in awe to hear the stories from young and old, all of them spoke of the impact she has made on their life.  A life of building relationships, participating in the community, giving back, not just with her money but her time as well. I have to tell you, in my mind, she is the embodiment of what Chris Brogan calls a Trust Agent, person after person stood up and talked about her integrity, the goodness that she worked so tirelessly bring to all of those who knew her and many who never knew her but experienced the fruits of her labor.  At one point during the day, she turned to me and said “Everyone keeps talking about all I’ve done for women, but I worked for the men and human rights as well. I stood up for anyone who needed to be stood up for as long as I believed it was the right thing to do.”

As things were winding down, I had the privilege of sitting alone with my aunt and just chatting. At 91 years old, she’s still a leader and still wanting to mentor and educate the best she can. And while she was thankful for the honor on Tuesday, I’m confident that what she enjoyed the most was talking to the people. She was genuinely moved that so many people gave up part of their day to come and see her. While we were sitting there I said to her, “I’m in awe of all the goodness you have created how did you do it?”  She responded:

“Everything I did, I did because I had a passion for it, not just the education but the students as well. I’ve dedicated my life to promoting fellowship, honor and integrity, and we need more teachers who are pushing that as well. That’s my passion, keep on keeping on!” (her personal mantra)

What I’ve learned from a lifetime of knowing my aunt, is that social and relationship capital is acquired through service, fellowship, and a deep passion for people. And it’s how we build and spend that capital that defines you, I watched on Tuesday as many accomplished people, some celebrities, got up and thanked my aunt for her service, and more than one said she was their hero. They were powerful moments, but she accomplished all she did because she loved her work and wanted to make the world a better place. She never gave any thought to what was in it for her, she fought hard for what was right in her mind, and with honor and integrity, she made sacrifices, had discouraging times but she always stayed the course. She used her capital to build leaders, pave the way for the future and for improving human rights.

My question to you is: what are you doing with the social and relationship capital you are building? Are you leaving a legacy of goodness? Are you working for what really matters most?

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Today, in honor of International Women’s Day, I thought who better to highlight than one of the bravest women I know who has made a tremendous impact on me. Her courage, and entrepreneurial spirit is a testimony that all things are possible if you believe, work hard and never ever give up on your dream.

Mukhtaran Mai – I’ve mentioned Mukhtar Mai before, her story of triumph and determination always moves me. Her brother was falsely accused of fornication. She went to court to argue on his behalf and was sentenced to the most severe form of humiliation in her culture. In the eyes of  her family and village her destiny was suicide. However and most importantly not in her eyes, she stood up to her attackers and demanded prosecution. The Pakistani government gave her $8300 compensation and she used that along with money from other donors to build a primary school for girls. The story doesn’t end there, she’s also built a high school for girls, runs a school for boys, she bought a van for the schools that is also the village ambulance and she has a herd of dairy cows that generate an income and help her maintain the schools. And in March of 2009….she married. I’m really in awe of this woman as when she set out to start the primary school she was unable to read and write and enrolled herself. While I think  Mukhtaran Mai”s story is tragic, it’s my hope that in the years to come that she is known for her leadership, entrepreneurship, courage, and the sheer goodness she has brought to Meerwala.

Mukhtar Mai’s story has had a profound impact on me personally in ways that I still struggle to put into words. I am currently working on a plan to put action behind the impact and to thank Mukhtar Mai….stay tuned as I will share that here.

So now it is your turn….is there a woman in your life who has had an unexpected profound impact? What’s the cause and effect of that impact? I’d love to hear your story and hers!

photo credit: Ronda Churchill

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Project Authenticity is really important to me and I have a deep desire to connect you to people and brands that are uniquely and genuinely authentic. The kind of people, that when you meet them your interaction is like a drink of water. I was asked recently where did you get the idea  for this blog and the fact is it’s been brewing for about a year, but I think the seed was first planted after reading Chris Brogan’s post titled Passion Drives Personal Brand.  In that post he wrote: Authenticity matters. It matters a lot to me as well and after this week I can tell you that I know for sure, it matters to Chris.

I had the unique opportunity to connect 1:1 with Chris this week at New Media Atlanta. My first conversation was one I thought would be short and sweet. He and I were at the same dinner, but at different tables. As folks started to dwindle, I saw a seat open right next to him, so I walked over to introduce myself. I had no agenda I just wanted to connect.  I wanted him to know that he inspired the vision for this blog, that I’d read Trust Agents and many times I found myself saying: you are so right! I wanted him to somehow know that I’m not a fan, I’m a believer.

That’s not how the conversation unfolded. We talked about a couple things and then he casually mentioned that he was still thinking about what he might write on his blog Thursday night/Friday morning.  I actually said: I know what you should write about…uh oh did I just tell Chris what to write about? When I said that, he leaned in…looked me in the eye and said: what? Before I knew it I was asking him to write about community. And he did….Feeling the community.

Here’s what I want you to know about my friend Chris Brogan….he’s more than a social media rock star.  He’s authentic, gracious, sharp-witted, smart and deeply committed to inspiring people to stop broadcasting and start connecting. I can tell you he loves his family very much so he’s not spending all this time away from them to gain popularity. Chris knows that change begins within and social media is a powerful vehicle to exact change. It’s not social media that will change the world and build community it’s people and how they make use of it. Chris has said many times: people matter…and he means it.

The rest of the story….

I saw Chris the next day, across a crowded room and I smiled at him and nodded. He made his way over and sat down. The first words out of his mouth were: how are you today? Not: did you see my post?

So…if you’re thinking about getting Chris and Julien Smith’s book Trust Agents please go and purchase it. Get the book because you want to to know how to make trust moves consistently, you want to be inspired and inspire others to be authentic and transparent, you believe communities are important. Someone once said to me that in order for a community to be successful, there has to be a tie that binds….get the book because you want to be a part of a community where the tie that binds is people matter. I’m asking you to get the book because I want to know more people like Chris…there’s not enough of them.

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