For months I’ve been contemplating a post on social and relationship capital and how it’s built and then how it’s spent. And after a trip to Memphis earlier this week, to see my mom’s aunt (my great aunt) honored at a ceremony where she donated her honors and awards to the University of Memphis it all became so clear to me.

Elma Neal Roane has dedicated her entire life to education and her students, I’m planning to profile her here soon so I won’t go through all of her accomplishments. She is recognized as a pioneer and leader in physical education and sports in the state of Tennessee.  She was head of the Women’s Division for sports at the University of Memphis from 1946-1976. The fieldhouse at the University known as “the house that she built” is named for her and I’m told it’s the only fieldhouse in the country named for a woman.

On Tuesday, there was a reception at Brister Hall, and it was  the formal unveiling of her awards, honors and papers both academic and athletic. There were over 100 people who came to see my 91 year old aunt, not the honors and awards. Everyone who came had a very personal story of how she had touched their lives.  I was in awe to hear the stories from young and old, all of them spoke of the impact she has made on their life.  A life of building relationships, participating in the community, giving back, not just with her money but her time as well. I have to tell you, in my mind, she is the embodiment of what Chris Brogan calls a Trust Agent, person after person stood up and talked about her integrity, the goodness that she worked so tirelessly bring to all of those who knew her and many who never knew her but experienced the fruits of her labor.  At one point during the day, she turned to me and said “Everyone keeps talking about all I’ve done for women, but I worked for the men and human rights as well. I stood up for anyone who needed to be stood up for as long as I believed it was the right thing to do.”

As things were winding down, I had the privilege of sitting alone with my aunt and just chatting. At 91 years old, she’s still a leader and still wanting to mentor and educate the best she can. And while she was thankful for the honor on Tuesday, I’m confident that what she enjoyed the most was talking to the people. She was genuinely moved that so many people gave up part of their day to come and see her. While we were sitting there I said to her, “I’m in awe of all the goodness you have created how did you do it?”  She responded:

“Everything I did, I did because I had a passion for it, not just the education but the students as well. I’ve dedicated my life to promoting fellowship, honor and integrity, and we need more teachers who are pushing that as well. That’s my passion, keep on keeping on!” (her personal mantra)

What I’ve learned from a lifetime of knowing my aunt, is that social and relationship capital is acquired through service, fellowship, and a deep passion for people. And it’s how we build and spend that capital that defines you, I watched on Tuesday as many accomplished people, some celebrities, got up and thanked my aunt for her service, and more than one said she was their hero. They were powerful moments, but she accomplished all she did because she loved her work and wanted to make the world a better place. She never gave any thought to what was in it for her, she fought hard for what was right in her mind, and with honor and integrity, she made sacrifices, had discouraging times but she always stayed the course. She used her capital to build leaders, pave the way for the future and for improving human rights.

My question to you is: what are you doing with the social and relationship capital you are building? Are you leaving a legacy of goodness? Are you working for what really matters most?

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Today, in honor of International Women’s Day, I thought who better to highlight than one of the bravest women I know who has made a tremendous impact on me. Her courage, and entrepreneurial spirit is a testimony that all things are possible if you believe, work hard and never ever give up on your dream.

Mukhtaran Mai – I’ve mentioned Mukhtar Mai before, her story of triumph and determination always moves me. Her brother was falsely accused of fornication. She went to court to argue on his behalf and was sentenced to the most severe form of humiliation in her culture. In the eyes of  her family and village her destiny was suicide. However and most importantly not in her eyes, she stood up to her attackers and demanded prosecution. The Pakistani government gave her $8300 compensation and she used that along with money from other donors to build a primary school for girls. The story doesn’t end there, she’s also built a high school for girls, runs a school for boys, she bought a van for the schools that is also the village ambulance and she has a herd of dairy cows that generate an income and help her maintain the schools. And in March of 2009….she married. I’m really in awe of this woman as when she set out to start the primary school she was unable to read and write and enrolled herself. While I think  Mukhtaran Mai”s story is tragic, it’s my hope that in the years to come that she is known for her leadership, entrepreneurship, courage, and the sheer goodness she has brought to Meerwala.

Mukhtar Mai’s story has had a profound impact on me personally in ways that I still struggle to put into words. I am currently working on a plan to put action behind the impact and to thank Mukhtar Mai….stay tuned as I will share that here.

So now it is your turn….is there a woman in your life who has had an unexpected profound impact? What’s the cause and effect of that impact? I’d love to hear your story and hers!

photo credit: Ronda Churchill

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Maasai men gathering to start the greeting dance

As many of you know, I had the opportunity to visit Kenya last summer. I was there to work on a water project and in the preschools. It was an intense experience yet somehow I long to return early next year.

I opened up my google reader this morning and here’s the first article that literally mooed at me (yes I did say moo). I just wrote about Maasai last week and I did not know about this moving story about how a tribe in Mara Mara, where I met the Maasiai, helped us after 9/11. They reached across the world to help us, by donating their most sacred possession, a cow. I’m practically speechless.

Did I say cow? Yes…so I did a little digging and came across the original story in the NY Times. I think it’s an example of someone with little means, but a big heart and a sincere desire to what he could to help. Kimeli Nalyomah was in NYC on 9/11 and was so moved by the attacks, that when he returned to his tribe some months later he was determined to do something. So he asked for the blessing of his tribe to give away his only calf, (cows are very sacred and the Maasai would never give one away) and 13 other tribesmen followed suit. While I’m moved by the gift, I’m in awe of how Nalyomah’s community joined in to help. His sincere desire to help us after experiencing that horror inspired an entire tribe to respond as well.

Maasai Homes, Amboseli

I’m speechless, because I have seen first hand how the Maasai in Mara Mara live. I’ve walked among their cattle and listened intently as the shepherds described how important their cattle are to them and their survival.  Their homes are made of cow dung and built by hand by the women. They have no electricity or running water and their life is very primitive. I have experienced their hospitality and generosity first hand by being invited inside the home of the Chief’s son Wilson for a tour of his home. He and his wife and four children living in a space half the size of my garage. The Maasai are a tribe of little means yet they wanted to do their part to help us – a nation of plenty and excess.

Is there some issue or cause tugging at your heart these days? Have you shared that with your communities? You might be surprised to find that others are feeling the same tug. What’s so poweful in the Web2.0 age is, that you could share that tug on your Facebook, Twitter or other online community and I am sure you would be surprised at the response, as well as the new relationships that might form.

Community is no longer defined by your zip code, and relationships can reach across oceans, continents and language barriers. My encouragement today is act on that tug and see what develops you might be surprised.

The rest of the story: The US embassy accepted the cows but asked the Maasai tribesmen to keep the cows and tend to them on behalf of the American people. Today the herd of cows is 35 strong and they are marked on their ear with a symbol of the twin towers. You see not only will we as a nation not forget what happened on 9/11, neither will the Maasai.

New friend, Wilson and Me July 2008, good times

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Today’s a big day for me… (drumroll please) I have officially moved my wordpress blog to my own domain. I’ve been theatening to go live for about a week now. Everytime I am about to pull the trigger, something happens. One of the things that’s been keeping me from going live is figuring out how to get the picture of the elephants in my header in my wordpress blog, in the header over here. I know it sounds like a small thing to you but it’s huge to me. (And I’m sure you’ve noticed I’m still working on that). So, I’m inserting them here.

Those elephants mean a lot to me because they remind me of my trip to Kenya last summer and my desire to return. I learned many lessons in my short time in Kenya related to community. I often say it’s the trip that keeps on giving.

What you are about to watch is video I was able to capture as we were stopped for lunch. You see, we are stopped by the side of the road taking a break, on the road from Amboseli National Park to Nairobi and its treacherous road. While stopped for lunch, up over the hill coming towards us are some Masaii shepherds  moving their cattle.  The Maasai live a very primitive life and it centers around their cattle. Cattle are a primary source of food and a symbol of wealth for them.

The video doesn’t do this moment justice. So what’s my point? For a very brief moment we took our eye off the shepherd, and missed that he needed assistance. We took for granted that he knew that a bottle of water has a plastic wrap and it has to be removed before he could open it. We were caught up in the moment not noticing that someone in arms length needed just a little assistance. The good news is that we looked back, and saw he needed assistance and were able to help.

So my question to you today is have you taken your eye off your community? Is there someone in arms length that you could help?

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